The love of self is really important. It has amazed me how relevant self love has become throughout the world since I throughly paid attention to it. I had never realized how loving yourself shapes your life, it shapes the way that you view things, how you allow others to treat you, how you value yourself, etc.
Honestly, I still am learning myself. I am still learning how to deal with things, how to remove myself from situations that I just cannot relate to anymore, how to grow in confidence with myself, how to love what God has created, how to appreciate myself, appreciate my strength, and how to be my own best friend.
Prayer is key. Talking to God is key. Being one with God. Going to God at all times, good or bad, understanding that whatever place I find myself, low or high – it is because of God and His plan. As I grow closer to Him each day, I grow more closer to myself. I fall in love with my solitude because through the isolation of self, I can talk and feel the presence of my Lord.
Song of Solomon 4:7 – “You are altogether beautiful, my love. There is no flaw in you.”
The younger me use to be very insecure. Extremely. I thought certain girls who I felt were beautiful because of things that they had and I thought for me to be pretty, I should have them too. It was until now that I have realized that God makes no mistakes. He knew what He was doing when He created me, down to the length of my toes. I have flaws, I have imperfections, what human does not?
But, true beauty comes within your soul and when you are living authentically and genuinely, your beauty will show on the outside. A pure heart and a good mind shows past an appearance.
I wish younger me could see that I am much stronger than I use to be. I have moved on from not wanting to change what God blessed me with to embracing it.
Putting God first meant I put myself first. I love Him. I love me. Even on the bad days, I know the sun will strike through. Isn’t that beautiful? Because I know my God will never leave me or place me in a situation to hurt me. To discourage me. To fail me. He only will teach, guide, and bless me. Isn’t that so pure? So kind? So sweet? Does that not make you feel good? That when you are down on life to know that you have a God that created you the way you are purposely? Bone by bone, piece by piece, from head to toe.
You are worthy. I am worthy. You are beautiful. I am beautiful. And you deserve to be your own best-friend, your own soul mate, you deserve to never give up on yourself. God has never given up on you. And He never will.
When I did not love myself, I would allow myself to be treated any kind of way. I would allow myself to be disrespected, be in toxic environments, become someone I was not by engaging in things that I knew meant me harm, by believing I needed people to validate my worth and that I needed to live because my world would have “stopped”. I let my life be controlled by the hands of another, but I never thought, “What if they decide to leave?” And of course, they left and they took me with them because I would pour myself empty trying to please them.
Never again. I should have been pouring myself empty by pleasing God because He would have fulfilled me in return.
No one that I ever loved will take me away with them. My hurt will not be torn into pieces that I have to place back together, piece by piece. I love to love. That is just me. No matter how much my love has been taken for granted, God still allows me to love like I have never been hurt. Maybe that is what is meant for me to do. To love those who have loved so many lost souls that it ends up leaving them lost or abandoned too. I admire my heart, my resilience to never stop being my best, and the ability to never stop seeing the kindness in people no matter how much I have been wronged.
Forgiveness and peace of mind is key, which will be what I discuss in the future.